


Join Me in Death

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Childhood Memories, F/F, Families of Choice, Family, First Love, Fluff, Friendship, Horror, Mutual Pining, Romance, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Vampire Turning, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 11:39:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2810768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The time is very near when you shall know everything. You will think me cruel, very selfish, but love is always selfish; the more ardent the more selfish. How jealous I am you cannot know.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Join Me in Death

**Author's Note:**

  * For [breathedout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathedout/gifts).



> Written for yuletide for breathedout. 
> 
> You requested sexy vampire shenanigans but I hope this will do. I was especially inspired by your prompt: ‘An unreliable-narrator Laura who was actually aware of Carmilla's vampirism from Day One, and has been waiting to lure her back to her side ever since that glimpse of her as a child?’ 
> 
> Title comes from the HIM song ‘Join Me in Death.’

It was only a matter of time before Carmilla would be allowed to see her again.

Their first night would be burned into Carmilla’s memory forever: Laura’s small, sweetly saturnine face glowing with fascination and warmth as she first caught sight of Carmilla, who curiously watched the human from the side of her bed. The desire to lay beside her was so strong, yet the want to taste the young human’s blood even fiercer.

Carmilla had already loved her back then, had already wanted to fall into Laura’s sweet embrace, drowning in the scent of her skin and the exquisite taste of her blood. But love could never be easy between the two of them, not until Laura left behind her human life and joined her in death. Even when they were reunited, Laura could not know what she was; Carmilla was under oath, yet she was always terrified that Laura would flee from her. If there was one thing that the vampire could not take it was rejection, and rejection from Laura would cut deeper and prove more final than any stake carved by man.

As much as she was thrilled to see the beautiful woman Laura would become, Carmilla wanted to hold her in this moment of childhood forever, wanted to shush her until the sweet child fell asleep, wanted to curl her own small form around Laura and breathe her in until nothing meant anything anymore.

Yet she would have to bide her time and wait. Turning Laura while at this age was no option and she knew it.

If only things could be different.

So she had that first glimpse of her and then she waited, for years, waited until she imagined she would run to Laura herself, forsaking all her promises and turning Laura into her forever soul mate right then and there. Because there was no doubt that Laura was her soul mate, they belonged together, they had the capacity and enough passion to rule the world together.

When Carmilla came back to her lover, Laura’s passion was there yet it was far below the surface, and what was there instead was confusion and emotions warring for precedence, but the vampire was not discouraged. She knew Laura remembered her, Laura even admitted to it, yet at times it seemed that she did not want her there even more than she wanted to say that she did.

Laura would never ask her to leave, yet that fear was there regardless, pricking at Carmilla’s skin for attention.

If only she could have turned her then, when all there was was Laura’s fascination towards and wonder at her. The fear that had come with the sudden pain was a necessary cycle of life, and as much as her scream had startled the vampire then, she realized later on that it was merely the human’s resistance to death and to the clinging on to life, and Laura could hardly be blamed for it.

Carmilla blamed herself, for being chained to the promises she had made to her mistress, for not having the power or the will enough to permanently take Laura into her embrace, too afraid of the consequences. There were rules among her kind, rules that should not be broken. Yet they seemed to bring more suffering upon her Laura.     

She was careful and bided her time, waited until they could be one. One indistinguishable without the other. Soul mates in blessed and perpetual death. She waited until Laura could perhaps grow accustomed to her again.

Her words to an ever-curious Laura were even more careful. “The time is very near when you shall know everything. You will think me cruel, very selfish, but love is always selfish; the more ardent the more selfish. How jealous I am you cannot know.”

“But Carmilla,” Laura said, a smile on her beautiful face that Carmilla had not seen since childhood. “I already know.” Carmilla stood there staring at her delicate yet all too fragile form, mesmerized. As if thinking Carmilla had not heard her, Laura continued with more vigor than before. “I _know_ , Carmilla. You don’t have to hide yourself from me anymore. We know each other’s secrets now, all of them.”There was a beaming Laura, lit from the inside, but Carmilla was nervous upon belief. Laura, sensing this, placed her hand upon Carmilla’s pale cheek. “I didn’t know what your were then, but I know what you are now. Don’t be scared,” she smiled again.

“I should be saying that to you, dear Laura. Yet I do not understand, how is it that you could possibly know?”

“I did not lie when I said to you that I was never told fairy tales, yet I came upon a book in my father’s library that was more intriguing than I can express to you. In the book it described a male creature that seemed much like you. Despite my young age, I put the pieces together and determined the reason why you had come to me that fateful night. I have missed you terribly since then, awaiting your return.” Laura pressed a small kiss upon Carmilla’s lips and Carmilla leaned into the gentle press of lips against her own, searching for more. “Do not ask me how, but I knew that you would return to me to claim me as your own. How is it you took so long?”

Carmilla did not answer her, she was merely content to lean against Laura and breathe in her heady scent. For once in her life, she did not need words.

“I choose you, Carmilla. You’re my family. You’re my future. Take me into your embrace and we shall be one.”

The vampire nuzzled against Laura’s soft throat before sinking her teeth into the giving flesh. Laura’s blood was sickly sweet and all-consuming, clouding her mind from all else that should see fit to grasp her attention. In this moment it was Laura and no one else, Laura, who had known all along. Laura, who _waited_ for her for all this time. Carmilla’s desire exploded within her yet she forced herself to slow down, desiring to savor the human Laura for as long as she could. Laura could only make the transition once, her humanity too frail of a thing to be permitted to endure.

They would be selfish in their love, refusing to share, entwined so completely around each other that no one would be able to tell where one ended and the other began. They would have no regrets, and would no sooner slow down than they would forsake their passion.

No one can take our love away from us, Laura.

No one can ever take it away.

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> The summary - also featured in my story - is Carmilla’s dialogue to Laura in the novella.


End file.
